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Frequently Asked Questions ( in Brooklyn: Frequently Aksed Questions)

Java Jews Klezmer Band and Fan Club

Submit your questions to the Java Jews .... write to mfnklst@aol.com
 

Q:  Do klezmer tunes require the band to end together?
A:  No.  When some of the band members end a tune early, it gives them an opportunity to see if there is any food available in the room we're playing.  The fact that this confuses the audience is not as significant as that it confuses the other band members. 
 
Q: Is there any truth to the saying that playing klezmer music regenerates lost hair?
A:  You're referring to a parable attributed to the Book of Celts, in which middle aged balding male musicians were held in great esteem.  As to reality, to date, playing klezmer music seems to have had no appreciable effect on regenerating lost hair.  Believe us, we keep checking.
 
Q: Is klezmer music really popular?
A:  Depends on what "is" is.
 
Q: Why do the Java Jews move around so much when they are playing?
A: You sure we're moving?  You're the one that's been drinking, buddy.
 
Q:  Why do some of your wives accompany you to performances?
A:  Well, either they're our biggest fans, or they're on to us.  You know, being a klezmer musician tends to make us very popular with the ladies who happen to speak Yiddish.
 
Q: You have non-Jewish members in the band.  Will they become Jewish?
A: Yes.  But they don't know about the bris, yet.   Shhhh.
 
Q: The Java Jews are always so up beat!
A: Where did you go to school? That's a question?  ( <--That's a question.)  Regardless, you're right. A tune like: "Happiness, you came a little too late," puts us in a sunny mood each time we play it.
 
Q: Why don't you play Motown?
A:  We'd love to, but  we have an agreement with the Four Tops.  They don't do Bei Mir Bistu Schoen, and we don't do  I'll Be There -- for the time being.  It could happen.
 
Q: Have either Bush or Kerry asked you to play at their victory party?
A: No...  But the Bush Campaign has asked us to play for Kerry and the Kerry Campaign, for Bush.  ....Wait a minute....
 
Q: Which is the cutest member of the Java Jews?
A:  Since I'm the one that runs the web site, I get to pick.  OK.  Objectively?  It's me :)

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